a poem of truth...

i wish i never had that party...
i knew it would change us
if i would have canceled it
would we still be?
would our friendship,
which was supposed to be forever..
would it still be intact?
or maybe our friendship
was just an act
put on for all to see
i dont knwo what to believe
i love you with all my soul
but somewhere something is saying..
you jsut have to let go
let go of that person
that is your world
jsut leave them out there
in the freezing cold
someday they might come back to me
or maybe they have a completely different destiny...
but if you are still out there
if you still care
if there is still a spark
left from the blaze
help it grow
bring it back
to the extravagant beast it once was
that undefeatable being
that used to be you and me
well i found the weakness
and now i see
that when together
we were invincible
but once broken apart
we are absolutely shattered
from our once glorious past
and i guess
not even our friendship
was meant to last...

I dedicate this to a friend that i knew so well. but something went wrong. I hope that as you read this you stop and think. Who is that person to me? Who is that person that makes me complete? When you figure it out. Let me know. Hold on to that person. For they mean more to you than you know. Dont give up. Things get better than you know..

~Posting in utter dismay and fright,
broken

To Liz.....

Friends come and they go
but friends like us are infinite

infinite- going on forever..... and ever... and ever

eternal friendship is what we have and nothing can break us

i love you always

i need to make my dv camera a webcam

http://www.orangeware.com/endusers/buddylive.html

Eye candy

-with love from me

you dont even care...
i am not really there
not to you
i am not even alive
you could care less about me
lead me on
only to bash my heart into thousands
of tiny pieces

-with love from me

My obsession....

you are my obsession
my infatuation
my dream
i see you when i sleep
and you are right next to me
by me side
here with me
but when i open my eyes
you cant see
how much you mean
to me....

You broke my heart again

Can he see me?

His writing makes me smile,
seeing him makes it worth while
i want to be near him
but does he even know how i feel?
Can he see how my heart thumps for him
the way he makes me feel so warm inside

I just want to hold him
but he cant see me
I just want to hold him
but he cant see me
I just want to hold him
but he cant see me
I just want to hold him
but he cant see me
but he cant see me

We talk every day
but i cant even say how he makes me feel
i cant form the words correctly
they just wont come out
i want to tell him
what this is all about
someday he will have feelings for me that are so true

I just want to kiss him
but he looks right through me
I just want to kiss him
but he looks right through me
I just want to kiss him
but he looks right through me
I just want to kiss him
but he looks right through me
but he looks right through me

Look at me
in my eyes
see that my feelings for him
are anything but lies
i just want to love him
and have him love me

Someday he will see me
when he looks right at me
Someday he will see me
when he looks right at me
Someday he will see me
when he looks right at me
Someday he will see me
when he looks right at me
when he looks right at me

Break me down

Break me down
into little pieces
with your ice-cold stare
that goes right through me
without even stopping to see if i am all right
i just want to hug you
to feel your lips on my own
but do you even know?
no, you could not
you dont even see me
i just want to lay you down and hold you
cuddle up against you
feel your face as it rubs against mine
kiss me and tell me it is all right
cause, without you, i won't make it through the night

My heart beats like the sun burns

My heart beats for you
like the sun burns
i see your face
and it all fades away
to touch your skin
carress your cheek
feeling your body against mine
it all fades away
i just want to be near you
to hear you
to be with you
stay with me
now and forever more